AS I WOULD HAVE YOU BE

SOMEONE ONCE IDENTIFIED THIS ONE AS A LOVE SONG. SOMETHING I WOULD PROBABLY DENY AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT, IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO PRETEND THAT I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A CORNY THING AS WRITING A SIMPLE LOVE SONG. YET EVEN IF IT WAS A LOVE SONG, AND I'M NOT SAYING IT IS ONE, IT WOULD STILL BE FINE WITH ME AS A "SERIOUS" SONGWRITER, AS IT STAYS CLEAR OF ALL THE SCHMALTZ USUALLY FOUND IN LOVE SONGS. IN FACT, THIS MAY BE THE MOST IMPOLITE LOVE SONG EVER WRITTEN . . . APART FROM THE FACT THAT IT IS NO LOVE SONG . . . I GUESS . . .

THOSE OF YOU FAMILIAR WITH THE ELIZABETHAN THEATRE, MAY RECOGNIZE THAT I STOLE THE SONG'S TITLE FROM A FINE AND QUITE POPULAR ENGLISH PLAYWRIGHT NAMED WILLIAM! I MEAN, IF YOU'RE GOING TO STEAL, STEAL FROM THE BEST, RIGHT?

HERE I AM
SINGIN' A SONG ABOUT YOU
YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE
YOU RARELY SEEM TO DO
YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART
AND SO SENSITIVE
AIN'T THAT TRUE?
I DO HAVE MY DOUBTS
STILL YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO GOT ME THROUGH

YOU, YOU TALK
WHENEVER YOU WANT
YOU DON'T CARE WHOSE TURN IT IS
YOU'RE SO CONFIDENT
ALMOST ARROGANT
AND YOU'RE EVEN PROUD OF IT
YOU CAN BE SO RUDE
SO FUCKIN' IMPOLITE
YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
AMONG MY FRIENDS
I LET GET AWAY WITH IT

YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A DREAM COME TRUE
STILL I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU
THERE'S SO MUCH YOU HAVE YET TO SEE
STILL YOU ARE AS I WOULD HAVE YOU BE

YOU, YOU THINK
YOU KNOW IT ALL
THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE
YOU BELIEVE
YOU CAN READ BETWEEN THE LINES
OH, I WISH YOU COULD
SOMETIMES YOU SEEM SO VAIN
SO FUCKIN' SHALLOW
BUT I KNOW THAT CAN'T BE TRUE
NO, I'M SURE
SOMEWHERE BEHIND
THERE'S A REAL DEEP SOUL
WAITING TO GET THROUGH

YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY A DREAM COME TRUE
STILL I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU
THERE'S SO MUCH YOU HAVE YET TO SEE
STILL YOU ARE AS I WOULD HAVE YOU BE